March 28, 2024

Yes, I’m sure I don’t want kids

I don’t want kids. Like, ever.

And I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I’m 20-years-old. Yes, I’m in college. No, I’m not in a serious relationship.

But still, I know what I want.

And being this age is weird. I have Facebook friends getting married and pregnant, coworkers having babies seemingly all the time, close friends in serious relationships starting to settle down.

But there are also some people like me, who live for themselves.

Starting a family and having kids and settling down might sound like the perfect life to a lot of people, and don’t get me wrong — I fully support living your best life.

According to NPR, the birth rate is down 2 percent from 2016, the lowest replacement rate since 1971.

But for me, the constant nagging of “what? You don’t want kids?” is, quite frankly, rude and annoying.

I’ve had people tell me that “a woman’s purpose is to have children” or “your husband will be upset” or “you won’t even have a husband if you won’t give him any kids.”

But here’s the thing: none of those things are true.

I’m living my life for me and me only. I’m living it to do what I want, and not what everyone else expects me to do.

Wanting or not wanting kids won’t make or break a real relationship with somebody, and if someone really won’t be with me because of that, then I guess they’re just not the one.

I want to graduate college and get a job in my field. I want to travel and go to concerts and have fun and do what I want to do.

I don’t see myself settling down with a family. I don’t see myself going to soccer games or PTA meetings or spending more than $50 at the grocery store. I don’t see myself driving a minivan with car seats in the back, or going out to dinner with screaming children and broken crayons, and God forbid I ever step on a LEGO in the middle of the night.

I don’t see myself being selfless enough to raise a child or willing to give up that much time or energy.

And I have to keep telling myself that’s okay. I have to remind myself that the women who settle down and have children are making their own life choices, but that those choices aren’t for everybody.

My life decisions are just as valid as anyone else’s.

Author

  • Sydney Deibert

    Sydney was the managing editor at the Chimes for her junior and senior years after working as a staff reporter during her first year at Capital in 2017. Sydney graduated in 2020 with a degree in professional writing and journalism. Some of her favorite things are cold brew, books about dragons, horror films, and her cat, Sterling.

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