June 4, 2020

A problem with relationships and love in 2017

Chivalry is not dead, but it is dying. Romance is not dead, but it is dying. The two are definitely tied together; without chivalry, how can you create romance?

Technically, chivalry is a term that defines knighthood with traits of valor, courtesy, and generosity. The way I interpret the term is something I’m sure we all heard in high school: “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” The problem with relationships and love today is that people don’t treat those around them, specifically their significant other, the way they want to be treated. With chivalry, gentleman, you actually have to talk to them face-to-face, get to know them and definitely take them out on a date.

With social media, news media and the increased use of technology, we have become cold like the technology we use. We can see a negative tweet from our crush, and we assume it is about us. We see an Instagram comment on our significant other’s picture from their ex and instantly get consumed by that comment. With all of this in mind, with all of these different ways to communicate, why is it still so hard for our generation to talk with one another?

Before the increased use of cell phones and media, divorce rates were nothing compared to what they are today. With a world full of multiple ways to communicate, it’s hard to believe people have a harder time communicating their feelings now compared to before.

If you’re hurt by someone, by your “person,” talk with them about it. Don’t get mad, don’t try to get even, don’t go out and flirt with others. Treat others how you wanted to be treated. More specifically, treat your love the way you want to be treated. Treat your crush the way you want to be treated.

I have been scared of rejection, scared of being hurt. But from what I have seen, other people push their love away due to the sheer fact that they are scared of these things.

At the end of the day, we are all scared, and we have all been hurt before. But if you don’t take that chance with someone, how will you know you’ll get hurt? How will you know that after taking that risk, the relationship with that person won’t be the best you ever had? Don’t be afraid to show you care and that you are actually able to love rather than just be loved.

Showing care doesn’t have to be anything big: you don’t have to buy them anything, and you don’t have to do anything other than actually prove you care. No, I’m not some expert, and I definitely can’t say that any of my relationships have worked out for the best. But after I started trying showing that I care, surprising her on dates with gifts and flowers, it was the best relationship I ever had.

By showing that you simply care, by spreading love to other people, it can turn into something that you never expected. Nobody is perfect, and sometimes relationships are spread too thin because a partner tries too hard to be perfect. No one should expect their partner to be perfect, but they should expect their partner to try to be the best person they can be, and that part does not often get communicated in a relationship. Love and relationships require teamwork and communication, and there are too many people that aren’t willing to be team players in this world.

The true problem with relationships and love in 2017 is that there’s not enough love. There’s no love shown, no risks taken anymore. Ask that person on a date, take them out to the park or to dinner, or take her to her favorite place to be. At least do something. Buy her flowers, buy her a meal. Gentleman, this is a call to action. Let’s bring back romance; don’t leave it up to Hollywood to do it for us.

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