July 3, 2020

Feelin’ crappy? Favorite places to go #2 on campus

Everybody has to poop.

And, let’s be real here, most of us have dropped the kids off in the pool in a campus bathroom sometime, somewhere. 

Whether it’s because of a medical condition or because you simply enjoy blissful solitude, chances are you prefer a certain type of atmosphere when it comes to picking out where you’d like to drop a deuce.

Finding privacy and a clean bathroom are a few things to think about when needing to go #2.

Some appreciate the quiet sanctuary of the basement of the library, and some like a more modern, sleek aesthetic like the Convergent Media Center restrooms. Chances are you have a special porcelain throne that you prefer on campus, whether you’d like to admit it or not.

In a poll run on The Chimes’ Twitter account last week, 76 percent of respondents said that they have a favorite place on campus to make some underwater sculptures. Of the respondents, 90 percent admitted to going to a different floor of a building they were already in, and 62 percent admitted to going to entirely different buildings just to release the Kraken in a different ocean.

It seems that the favorite place to take the Browns to the Super Bowl is in the CMC’s various facilities, with a 62 percent vote, followed by the Blackmore Library with 21 percent, Ruff Learning Center with eight percent, and the “other” category with nine percent.

“Hands down, the best place to perform number two are the CMC bathrooms,” Eric Moeller, sophomore music technology major, said. “Modern, sleek, and explicitly gender-inclusive facilities.”

“There’s been a lot of unknowns in my first year here, but one thing has stayed constant,” Bailey Harlow, first-year undeclared major, said. “That thing is the bathrooms in the CMC. Any bathroom that’s good enough for me to walk all the way across campus in the freezing cold to poop deserves more recognition.”

Harlow said that those restrooms are clean and have a comfortable temperature, and “have the privacy that a bathroom should have.” They make him feel secure.

Kyle Gowens, first-year music tech major, also has a soft spot for the CMC restrooms. 

“They give you an option where you have paper towels or you can have the air dyer,” he said. “Because I’m a paper towel man, and in the dorms … the Dyson air jet [doesn’t] cut it.”

But while the CMC bathrooms may be iconic, there are some other student favorites on campus. 

“Another good one is in the Con,” Gowens said. “The Con’s family bathrooms are the best.”

Pictured is the Conservatory, one of the recommended places to poop.

“The women’s restroom in the basement of Renner is private and there’s double security with the two locked doors,” Becca DeLong, senior English Literature major, said. 

Valerie Szabo, class of 2018, also expressed her love for “the creepy single women’s bathroom in the basement of Renner.”

Kait Roughton, class of 2018, feels that the Alumni House bathroom is a hidden gem. 

“The downstairs bathroom is always clean and is a single stall so you don’t have to worry about people listening to your butt business,” she said. 

Melanie McDonald, nursing alumna and class of 2013, showed appreciation for the restroom in the basement of the Learning Center, and Ashley May, ex-Chimes staff member, loves the basement of the library because there “ain’t a damn person down there.”

  • Sydney is the managing editor at the Chimes and a senior professional writing and journalism major at Capital University pursuing a career arts and entertainment writing. Some of her favorite things are cold brew, books about dragons, horror films, and her cat, Sterling.

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