by Aaron Butts
Monday morning began like any other day while doing printer checks for IT. I made my way to Saylor-Ackerman (SA) to check the printer on the second floor and what should I find? At least seven copies of a young man’s penis and a copy of what I hope to be a rubber chicken. This one occurrence helped me to realize one thing: I am surrounded by immature idiots.
First of all, I have a couple of things to say to address the young man who made copies of his own phallus: if you’re going to take a picture of your genitals, don’t do it using a machine where IT can track the users of that machine to find out when it was copied, who did it, and how many copies were made.
Also, why a copier? Not only does it seem a bit counter-intuitive, but it is also much simpler to get yourself out there by simply using your phone to Instagram it, put it on Tumblr, or even go the old fashioned route and take a couple Polaroids. But to actually place your penis on the screen of a copier and scan it, either means that you are so dumb you should be thankful to have even made it into college, you were drunk, or most likely both.
But really this is just a symptom of a much larger issue on campus, and that is the immaturity of freshmen boys. A friend who commented on this story on my Facebook, posted a quote that I think sums this up perfectly: “I remember when I had my first beer.” Which besides being a super funny Will Ferrell line, defines the experience of being a freshman from the perspective of an upperclassman.
Let’s face it; a lot of us were like this guy when we were freshmen so we cannot be too harsh in judging his stupidity. But what you need to realize is that there is a certain point when you need to grow up, and it is up to every student to decide when that is. For some students they wake up and grow up after their first hangover. For some it’s after their freshman year. But for many others, they never do. It’s strange for me to think that at some point this person will be possibly married and have a job. How will he look back on his early years away from home, and what will he see? What regrets will he have?
I know that only two years after my freshman year I have come to regret numerous actions that I have made, but that’s a part of life. There are still things that can be pointed out to me by my friends as flaws, but it is dealing with those mistakes and flaws that allow us to grow.
To whoever may have left these photocopies, you can have fun all you want in college, but when you graduate, it’s no longer fun, and being immature is no longer a method to gain friends. Life doesn’t have a tolerance for foolishness, and making a job out of immaturity only works for comedians. A person who can’t take himself seriously cannot expect anyone else in life to take him seriously either.
So live it up now dude, because in the real world, dick pics on the copier will just get you fired.
abutts@capital.edu
