Satire: Underground secret society with ties to Capital University exposed
On Monday, March 21, an anonymous Capital University student revealed to the Chimes that a secret society meets in the abandoned tunnels under campus, with …
Category: Satire
Satire: New zoo opens at Capital after Columbus Zoo fiasco
One of the main tourist attractions that Columbus offers is the world-famous zoo. Recently, some questionable decisions have resulted in the Columbus Zoo losing its …
Satire: Chemistry class sparks up controversy
CHEM420 is a new course that will teach students how to grow, sell and smoke marijuana. While the class itself is controversial, many steps have …
Satire: Vespa Vanguards take on the world
Joey Frontier, Provost of Capital University, has announced today that he will be creating a new group for “Vespa Riders,” such as himself. The group …
Satire: Capital announces clown nose mandate
Above image by Parken Brown. Capital University will now require students, faculty and staff to wear clown noses on campus after the rise of a …
Satire: Murderous ravens and parrot wreak havoc on campus
Capital Communications released a health advisory two days ago in response to the student tradition of licking the unnamed blue art piece diagonal from Blackmore …