In local news, Ohio University student Joseph Corlett was banned from campus for a year and forced to undergo “sensitivity” counseling. These
consequences came as a result of his unrelenting desire to write about how sexually attracted he was to his female professors, comparing them to Ginger and Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island.
This serves as a Public Service Announcement to all of the women, men, and the occasional small mammals on campus who have been pondering whether to shamelessly write about their adoration for Michael Torello in poetic sprawl in their Humanities classes.
If importance of a development in world affairs is measured by media coverage, Whitney Houston’s death beats Iran’s nuclear development by a wide margin. Houston, a famous entertainer the world over, passed away in Beverly Hills Feb. 11. Houston followed pop sensation Michael Jackson in gaining millions of post-mortem fans.
Adele, on the other hand, seems to be getting quite a few fans while she continues to breathe (while throwing herself into the flames…). The popular artist swept the Grammys, winning Best New Artist, Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, Album of the Year, Best Pop Vocal Album, Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Best Short Form Music Video, Best Pop Solo Performance. She is, however, continuing to look for someone like you.
Now, to Iran. The United States and the European Union have been attempting to put pressure on the Iranian economy through sanctions to hamper their nuclear development. However, Iran announced Wednesday that the sanctions had no effect on their nuclear development capabilities and they have begun using advanced centerfuges to enrich uranium.
Yet, Iran has signaled it is willing to negotiate the future of their nuclear program. Either the United States secretly assassinated the wrong scientists and Iran’s economy runs off anti-Semitism, or Iran is bluffing more than Rick Santorum at a Gaga concert.
Moving on to the presidential election, Mitt Romney fired back at Sarah Palin when she expressed doubts about how conservative he actually is. Romney responded by listing conservative accomplishments during his tenure as Governor of Massachusets.
These included cutting taxes 19 times, creating a $2 billion rainy day fund, and translating the Constitution with a seer stone and a hat. Wait, wrong person.
In Syria, the Assad regime continues to murder hundreds of its citizens in an effort to quell their eleven- month-long revolt. While the United States has pushed for a U.N. Security Council resolution condemning the attacks, China and Russia refuse to support such a measure. In fact, Russia is supporting Assad’s effort to hold a referendum on a new constitution with reforms, which activists say is more cosmetic rather than constructive.
Meanwhile in Athens, Greece, protestors have set fire to numerous buildings throughout the historic city. Citizens are up in arms over the government’s plan to cut spending and services in an effort to meet standards set by the European Union to receive a bailout fund and shore up their faltering economy. Without the bailout, Greece could default on its loans and go into bankruptcy, putting the future of the whole Eurozone into question.
That’s all for this week’s World News. Have any tips? Email us at chimes@capital.edu
