- Misconceptions about “50 Shades of Grey” are flying around the internet, as many are quick to judge based on hearsay and out-of-context quotes. Summed up, “50 Shades of Grey” is a simple Cinderella story turned on its side, with the prince suffering from control issues and having a BDSM fetish. Many people are outraged over the movie; they’re calling for boycotts and bashing others in forums if they dare to enjoy the books.
Rather than just letting a (in my opinion) mediocre “Twilight” fan fiction have its 15 minutes, they have created huge social media campaigns for the movie. No doubt, for every one person that boycotts, ten will go just to see what is causing all the fuss. If you are not willing to watch or read “50 Shades of Grey,” that is your right. I do not believe pushing your choices on others, especially based on willful ignorance, is good for anyone. I admit I have not read the whole trilogy, thus my commentary comes from watching the movie and detailed summaries from my girlfriend on the books.
The biggest claim, that is simply not true, is that Anastasia was never forced to do anything sexual without consent; therefore, rape does not take place. That being said, I have seen rape depicted on the popular TV show “Law and Order,” and other places, and no one seemed to be outraged over that.
Porn? Not so much. Although the length of sex scenes is two or three times that of most other films, it is tastefully done. Movies like “Magic Mike” are much closer to pornography, and any slasher film has ten times the violence, yet they still receive the R rating. While our standards are falling, the movie is in line with R-rated standards of recent films.
Abuse is a (sorry) gray area as Christian Grey never intentionally abuses Anastasia, however, when Anastasia begs him to show her how bad his punishments could get, he reluctantly agrees to show her, and he goes too far. If this was required for the continuation of the relationship, it would not be a just mistake, it would be abuse, plain and simple. Prior sexual acts have not caused her any harm (his relationship actions, however, are manipulative from the beginning). We do not see in the first movie how this relationship progresses after this “mistake,” but this one altercation forever alters this relationship as Anastasia draws a firm line in the sand and states that, no, this behavior is not acceptable.
Stalking and control issues are unhealthy and very apparent within the film (and even more so within the book). He is jealous of the men around Anastasia and shows up inappropriately in many places. As he deems her car to be dangerous, he sells her car (without her knowledge) and gets her a new car for her graduation. At times, it is a misguided attempt to keep her safe, other times it’s just creepy.
A non-disclosure agreement was signed, which is no different from any celebrity relationship these days. In this lawsuit-happy environment, it is sadly almost a requirement if you have anything to lose. The BDSM contract (not signed in this movie) is a great communication tool between Christian and Anastasia that establishes boundaries and safety guidelines necessary with the risks involved in exploring extreme sexual limits. Treating the document as a contract rather than simply a communication piece places it in the realm of unhealthy control, and, again, Christian sees this control as simply protecting Anastasia. The scene where they negotiated the contract is just hilarious; all the best scenes in the movie are those when Anastasia stands up for herself.
The basic premise of the series, that I see, is that Anastasia is a virgin to sex, and Chrstian shows her how to test the limits of her sexuality. Christian, on the other hand, is a virgin to romantic relationships, and Anastasia shows him how to love someone truly. So, what should we take away from “50 Shades of Grey?” Well, if you are inspired to take reasonable risks to test your limits and find oneself, specifically to explore your sexuality–with someone you trust completely–this is ok. If you look at either Christian or Anastasia as a guide to a healthy relationship, please remember this is Hollywood, home of the underdogs coming away winners. Making good on a relationship revolving around control and manipulation is as likely as Cinderella actually getting her Prince Charming.
