As Valentine’s Day looms heavy on the horizon, hundreds of thousands of young people remain officially unattached but emotionally intertwined in the battleground of modern dating. We are in the unfortunate era of the “situationship.”
Clinical psychologist Vijayeta Sinh says “a situationship is simply a relationship that hasn’t been defined. This could be due to a lack of willingness from both people to define the relationship or a lack of commitment towards one another.”
Some signs of a situationship include a lack of labels, unclear boundaries and irregular and superficial contact. Red flags to look out for are one-sidedness, a fear of vulnerability, poor communication and the bare minimum done to string people along with no real long-term intentions of commitment.
Ghosting becomes an even bigger issue with situationships as there is already much unresolved within the relationship to begin with—regardless of the fact that there may never even be an official relationship.
Getting ghosted should not necessarily come as a surprise as it often accompanies this dating limbo; unsatisfactory communication can only lead to worse communication unless an effort is made to improve.
Situationships have become an increasingly common phenomenon that can be found anywhere from online discourse to on the radio; even pop stars aren’t immune. In “Glitch,” a track from her 2022 album “Midnights,” Taylor Swift sings “You don’t live in my part of town but maybe I’ll see you out some weekend / Depending on what kind of mood and situation-ship I’m in.”
Singer-songwriter Chappell Roan’s debut album boasts a song called “Casual” that is all about “casual” dating with intense emotions, lamenting that her friends call her a loser for still hanging around. She sings “I thought you thought of me better / Someone you couldn’t lose / You said, ‘We’re not together’ / So now when we kiss, I have anger issues.”
Even brands have gotten in on the hype and cultural buzz. The iconic candy heart company Sweethearts Candies created a line of hearts with ambiguous sayings that sold out shortly after it was released.
Each box is “[f]illed entirely with sweet, meaningless nothings and literal mixed messages.” Their claim? “Our box of blurry candies is the perfect gift for Situationships everywhere.”
Singers and Sweethearts aren’t the only ones weighing in! The Cleveland Clinic put in their two cents on the topic as well: “If you find yourself in romantic relationships that don’t align with your goals or meet your needs, whether or not they qualify as ‘situationships’ isn’t important. What is important is that you get the support you need to build attachments that make you happy.”
You should always prioritize positive attributes in a romantic relationship, whether or not you think things will work out exactly how you want them to. What you can learn from these experiences, good or bad, is what you want, and sometimes more importantly, what you don’t want in a relationship.
Romantic relationships and interests should be about fulfilling your needs and wants, not playing mind games. Healthy relationships require clear communication of expectations, boundaries and genuine interest from everyone involved.
Just because you are living through the situationship epidemic does not mean you need to settle for someone mediocre. You deserve better!
