by Aaron Butts
Monday evening in the basement of the Student Union several students in Greek life met for the weekly Interfraternity Council meeting. Most of those in attendance were there to air grievances over the widely controversial “Date Doctor” event that took place Sunday evening in the Capital Court in which members of Greek life were required to go. The presenter was David Coleman, a professional relationship and dating expert with years of experience and numerous accolades.
The meeting was concluded with 24 hours of social media belly-aching in which many people voiced their opinions on how they believed the Date Doctor took a very heterosexually biased approach to the subject of dating. Others disagreed and counteracted the negative remarks by making further negative remarks against the initial complaints.
Thus ensued a melee of harsh words and criticisms in which Capital students talked openly about the legitimate concerns that members of the LGBTQ community had with the Date Doctor’s speech.
In response to the backlash against the event, Fraternity and Sorority Life at Capital sought to gather insights and complaints from the students who attended. A part of this willingness to address public complaints is what led to the issue being discussed at the IFC meeting. David Gonzalez, Capital’s director of Fraternity and Sorority Life, kicked things off with a disclaimer that the meeting was to be kept civil and on topic.
Despite the harsh words posted on social media and spoken amongst Greeks all around campus, this meeting was to be one for the legitimate airing of grievances in which the university and it’s students could actively express their views in a formal setting. Gonzalez went on to explain in his opening remarks that he agreed with many of the objections that were raised concerning the speaker, but that students had failed to prevent the speaker from coming here in the first place.
Furthermore, Gonzalez revealed that David Coleman had been to campus a year before and had given the exact same speech without incident. Gonzalez expressed his disappointment in how the situation was handled and reminded the students to take a more reasoned and professional approach to the situation.
Of those visitors in attendance, most were of Sigma Alpha Beta fraternity (SAB), many of whom had an issue with the presentation. Many of them walked out of the event in protest along with numerous other students in the Greek community who were offended with what Coleman was saying.
Clayton Brickner, a freshman in SAB, attended the meeting and was one of those that was offended by what Coleman had to say.
“He disrespected the LBGTQ community, the idea of individuality, and Capital University as a whole,” Brickner said. “His program based on heterosexual norms and generalizations did not accommodate the LBGTQ community or anyone struggling with issues on individuality.
“His generalizations of men (and lesbians) and women (and gays) may have been seen as quite offensive. He often spoke of men doing this and women doing that, completely disregarding the idea of each and every person as an individual. Furthermore, the speaker continued to disrespect the LBGTQ community by not acknowledging same-sex relationships.
“His lack of gender-neutral pronouns and references to heterosexual relationships not only oppose the idea of equality and respect, but advocate social ignorance and gender stereotypes.”
But it wasn’t just the lack of representation in the LGBTQ community that had many people angry; it was also the fact that this was a mandatory function for Greek students to attend, in which students swiped their IDs at a Debow’s Challenge kiosk as a form of attendance. Some pointed out that the university’s resources could be better applied by forcing Greeks to attend the Martin Luther King, Jr. Day of Learning or more constructive presentations than a dating advice seminar.
On the flip side, however, numerous students who were not offended by the presentation were offended at the reaction that the speaker received on social media. Kyle Upchurch, a junior and member of Alpha Sigma Phi fraternity had less of a problem with what was said by the speaker, and more about how Capital students chose to react to it.
“David Coleman did not come to Capital with malicious intent,” Upchurch said. “While I respect the opinions and feelings of those who were offended, I wish they would have taken a more direct route in the matter – speaking to the folks in charge—from the very beginning. A social media explosion does not affect change; having a respectful dialogue does.”
abutts@capital.edu
