If you’ve ever walked past Huber-Spielman and the conservatory, then chances are you’ve seen the multitude of golf carts that reside in that area of campus. For most, this sight brings about questions, most of which we are not provided answers to. What is the tale these door-less wonders have to tell us?
Occasionally, you’ll see someone working for facilities driving around in one, weaving around students on their way to class, causing near mayhem with the number of accidents that occur from reckless cart driving. The truth behind these carts and the individuals driving them may shock you, but it’s information that we must be aware of.
The reason for the carts’ existence on campus is due to the fact that Capital is home to Columbus’s first golf cart track. Yes, you read that correctly. Our university is the host site for races involving hundreds of golf cart drivers endorsed by several businesses here in the Columbus area.
The reason so many facilities employees drive them around and cause accidents during the day is because they are drivers endorsed by the university. They take advantage of extra practice time by using students as an obstacle course.
Provost Jody Funion and President Paula Bethany are the head of this new enterprise and claim to have valid excuses for their new involvement in this sport they see as rising rapidly in popularity.
“This has been a long time coming, and I guess it’s good that it’s all coming out now,” Funion said. “These plans have been in the works, for me, since the day that the golf carts were purchased. And while it may have cost a fortune and forced us to raise tuition again and again the last few years, we know it will eventually become our number one source of revenue for the university.”
Purchasing the golf carts wasn’t the end for Funion though; he had aspirations to do more.
“The implementation of the fountains…yes this was all me, all a part of my plan,” Funion said. “I knew that if we closed off Mound Street we’d be a step ahead of all other campuses, in that we had a clear and outlined track for the carts, and there was no longer a concern over being hit by cars.”
And while Paula Bethany wasn’t apart of bringing this hazardous activity to campus, she certainly wasn’t against it either.
“After all of the regular interviews and touring the campus, I got the chance to sit down with Jody one on one, in a private, secure location,” Bethany said. “It was then that he informed me about his plan, this idea and process behind it that he had nicknamed his ‘master plan.’ My excitement for accepting this job shot through the roof after our conversation.”
This all begins to answer more questions that we may have begun to ask. It explains why golf carts now have their own parking spots around campus, it explains why there are always random piles of busted glass and metal laying around and finally it explains why so many other university budgets have begun to be cut; this “master plan” hasn’t taken off like expected.
“Its year two now, and I’m starting to worry,” Bethany said. “We’re looking to all places to find excess funds, because this plan just hasn’t taken off like we anticipated. But we have no intentions of giving up. Jody and I are determined to do anything and everything in our power to see the maturation of our master plan. One day everyone will look to Capital as the birthplace of golf cart racing.”
