by Autumn Laws
Halloween is the one day of the year where it is socially acceptable to act like someone else. Of course, being a broke college student can hinder us from buying a full-blown Halloween costume. This explains the draw college students have towards a skimpy, slutty costume. It’s also helpful that wearing a slim fitting costume for Halloween gives wearers a 200 percent higher chance of getting laid. If you want to save some dough this season, here are some original, inexpensive, slutty costumes that will turn heads and save change.
Who says the man who spearheaded the world’s largest genocide can’t be sexy? Not many people know that Hitler had a very experimental sex life, so who better to dress up as this season than the one and only Adolf. Here are the components to put together a hot Hitler ensemble: Black magic marker, red fabric, hair gel, khaki overcoat.
Sexy Moses
There has only been one person sexy enough to see God’s burning bush, and that was Moses. Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt, but what do you think he did during the 40 years spent in the desert? If you really want to part the seas this Halloween, here is the list for an unforgettable sexy Moses costume: Styrofoam painted like two stone tablets, a white pillow case and rope, Berkley sandals, an epic, white, curly beard.
It is no doubt that the first lady probably doesn’t get too much in the bedroom, since the president is arguably the busiest man in the world. Of course, with this government shutdown, you know that Barack has had more time to spend with the first lady, i.e., sexy time. If you want to break out the American pride this Halloween, here’s what you need to don yourself with: blue, lacy, lingerie, a Shakeweight, a “Yes We Can” sticker.
When I shut my eyes, I can clearly visualize my middle school lunch lady’s hairy mole. The way that she scooped the weekly mystery meat onto my lunch tray always got me hot and bothered. If you want to recreate this memorable experience for your friends this Halloween, here is the ensemble you should rock this season: a hairnet, a metal spoon, and an apron.
Risqué Pope Francis
