by Aaron Butts
Relationship horror stories are a dime a dozen at Capital, so The Chimes put a call out on Facebook and Twitter and quite a few readers responded.
Most of the submissions were from women who were involved with a wide range of crazy, selfish, idiotic, and semi-psychopathic men. Men who just didn’t understand the meaning of ‘no.’
Stalk Much?
“I dated a guy who went to another school, we only dated about two months, then when I broke up with him for being creepy and crazy, he transferred schools to Capital and wouldn’t stop calling or texting me.” -Bri, senior
The Drama King
“My most recent ex was super melodramatic. He literally threw himself on the ground and had a temper tantrum when I broke up with him. Then had the balls to post [rude remarks about me] on Facebook. He was ready to propose after less than a year, and couldn’t hold down a steady job. Oh, and I tried to dump him three times in a week. And he bought the ring after that. He just kept guilt tripping me into staying.” -Chelsea, senior
Jailhouse Creep
“I had an ex-boyfriend go to jail, and when he got out, he walked 26 miles over night to my house and waited outside for me to tell me he still loved me. I did not return the sentiment.” -Taylor, junior
Keep It In Your Pants
“When I was in high school, I was still pretty inexperienced and had been dating one guy for a while. We never did much except kiss, but I knew he was insecure about his body. He was rail thin, and probably weighed as much as I did. I didn’t think anything of it, but one day after school, he and I were in his room when he asked if I would give my opinion on something. ‘Sure’ barely left my mouth before he started pulling his pants down and frantically grabbing at himself. ‘Is it small? Is it SMALL?’ It was the most desperate I’ve ever seen someone in my life. I still haven’t come back from that. By the way, it was small, but I wouldn’t have cared if he hadn’t waved it around savagely like that.” -Megan, senior
Fuzzy Little Problem
“I was at my girlfriend’s house lying in her bed, not paying attention when all of a sudden she grabbed my hand and handcuffed me to the bed (as a joke). Her family was there at the time so I said ‘Not here’ and I un-cuffed myself. A few hours later we were sitting by the TV with her family. Her little sister went back to their bedroom. I didn’t think anything of it until I saw her walking out with a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. She brings them out so the whole family can get a look, including her ex-marine father.” -Ryan, senior
Anti-Foreplay
“I was going slip my hands down her pants and get things going but then she grabbed my hands and said, ‘Either we go all the way, or nothing. We don’t do this pregame shit.’ I didn’t say anything, but in my mind I was thinking ‘there is no way I am having sex now,’ so I gradually pretended I was tired and fell asleep, and I was out early the next morning. You could say I took an hour nap realistically. My blue-balls thanked me the next day.” -Mitchell, senior
No Brainer
“I once stopped mid-blow job because the guy was a pretty, but dumb, freshman and he said something so stupid that I could not bring myself to [finish the blowjob].” – Catherine, Capital Alumna
