The most important gift that you can give your partner, or whoever the Valentine in your life is, is communication.
The average American spent $130 on Valentine’s Day last year, according to Capital One Shopping.
Valentine’s Day gifts are usually impersonal and cliché, such as a box of chocolates or a bouquet of roses. On Christmas or your birthday, you can get anything you ask for, but on Valentine’s Day, if you get anything, you’ll probably get garbage.
The little diversity of gifts given on Valentine’s Day is evidence of true consumerism: making purchases just to make purchases or buying whatever item because it’s the holiday when that item is being sold. But Valentine’s Day wasn’t always like this.
While there are a few different saints by the name of Valentine recognized by the Catholic Church, Valentine’s day is thought to be named after a priest in Rome who continued to marry couples even after Emperor Claudius II Gothicus outlawed marriage for young men, under the belief that single men make better soldiers, according to HISTORY.com.
Another story suggests that the holiday was named after a different St. Valentine that was killed for helping Christians escape Roman prisons. It is supposed that this St. Valentine sent the first Valentine’s Day card to a young woman he had fallen in love with while he himself was imprisoned, the woman being the jailer’s daughter.
According to the University of Nevada, the stories around St. Valentine are not historically accurate, though they may be romantic. It is more likely that Christians simply appropriated the pagan holiday of Lupercalia, which was a celebration of fertility that took place in mid-February.
Lupercalia was eventually outlawed by Christian leaders in Europe, but February was still associated with love during the Middle Ages, as it was observed that this was the mating season for birds.
Historically, Valentine’s Day has its associations with nature and star-crossed love, such as the love between St. Valentine and his jailer’s daughter, and secret and forbidden marriage. These stories are much more serious than the modern significance the holiday has now.
When Valentine’s Day was celebrated in the 18th century, it was common for people to create and hand-write cards or exchange gifts of gloves and spoons. Being someone’s Valentine back then was often the step before betrothal.
In the 1840s, Valentine’s Day began to become commercialized with the advent of paper production in the United States. Production was cheap and there was much profit to be found in this already established holiday. Not everyone had time to make their own Valentine’s cards, but everyone wanted to show their love to that special someone on the romantic day.
Again, being someone’s Valentine was a precursor to betrothal, and marriage was mostly an economic proposal at the time (you could argue that it still is). It was very important to have a Valentine and to make that happen by giving a card or a gift.
Now, Valentine’s Day is mostly not about marriage and is much more inclusive of non-romantic relationships. Children give each other cards and candy, platonic friends have parties (for example, Galentine’s) and people even get gifts for their pets (pet owners spent $1.7 billion last year, according to Capital One Shopping). And of course, people spend lots of money on their romantic partners.
You might not want to get your Valentine the mass-marketed chocolate and flowers this year, but you probably won’t get away with a spoon and a glove or a marriage betrothal. Even a small gift can be economically unviable for students to buy, and many don’t have time between assignments and lectures to take their date out or buy a Valentine’s gift that is most likely marked-up in price to increase revenue.
Ask your partner what type of gift they would want for the day, or what they would like to do to celebrate. There are ways you can do this that still include the element of surprise. If you never buy your partner flowers because you know that they don’t like them, maybe the day of love is not the day that you buy them something they might not like.
While brainstorming your gift, think about your partner’s hobbies and interests, or things they really need. Maybe they would really appreciate a nice meal, or an act of service, like helping them clean their room.
College is probably not the time to go all out on jewelry and a nice dinner, especially if you think you’ll have your Valentine for years to come.
Don’t stress out about price tags this Valentine’s Day if you don’t have to. If you can’t afford the traditional $130 spent on the holiday, let your partner know, and if they’re the one for you, then they’ll understand. It’s likely that they’re in the same boat.
This Valentine’s Day, I personally won’t be spending hundreds of dollars; I will be spending my time with the person I want to celebrate most. Or maybe I will spend hundreds of dollars, but it will be on that vintage Transformer he really wants — not a dozen roses.
