She stood me up. Not unexpected considering it was a first date with an Internet stranger at a rock-and-roll sex comedy show.
Not your average “grab a coffee down the street” date where you can escape at anytime without disrupting a live performance. So, instead, I upgraded to two platonic female friends, my old roommate, and all the booze I could swallow to check out Shadowbox Cabaret’s latest sketch show, “Sex at the Box.”
“I will be your server tonight, as well as the wider black one on stage,” Brandon crooned as he handled our table with a vivacious intensity that could only be held by a raging thespian. “Care for any cocktails, babies?”
Having the performers work as the food and box office staff adds a layer of intimacy to their relationship with the audience. It establishes a connection. Not only is this dude up there singing and dancing, he is making sure your nachos and beer are in your face in a timely fashion.
I whispered to Brandon that it was my friend’s first time at Shadowbox. He gave me a coy smile, and, in a nod to “Rocky Horror Picture Show,” let out a macabre scream.
“Hey everyone, guess what? We got one virgin right over here!”
Maybe bringing a first date here would have gotten me a glass of water to the face.
We ordered two pitchers of the house cocktail “The Freak,” a bubbling concoction of vodka, peach schnapps, amaretto, cranberry juice, and pineapple juice. I swiftly gulped down my first glass, which tasted dangerously of candied fruit punch, as the lights went down.
Shadowbox’s brand of sexual comedy in “Sex at the Box” is shallow. It’s crude, raunchy, and often vulgar, but it always delivers. Together, nostalgia and over-the-top rock-and-roll made for an enjoyable combination. The house band shredded every note of butt-rock classics like Marcy’s Playground and Queen to R&B favorites like Michael Jackson and Erykah Badu. Each song is performed using a different lead singer, who always belted out their tune with vigorous sexual energy. I found myself transfixed and started to question my sexuality. I must have eye-banged the entire lineup, including the ultra-hairy lead guitar player. Although, to be fair, I was five Freaks in.
Shadowbox’s hybrid form of entertainment was, if nothing else, engaging. As the largest theater collective in Columbus, Shadowbox has mastered blending elements of theater, comedy, and raunchy rock-and-roll into one compelling performance medium.
Shadowbox is a primo place to take a date as long as they know what they are in for. Due to the sexually-explicit nature of their sketch comedy, I wouldn’t recommend taking your ChristianMingle date. However, with 47 performances per month, there is always something to look forward to, whether it be their big budget musical “Evo” or their casual midday sketch show “Lunch at the Box.” Just remember to tip your server, because not only did they get you drunk, they probably turned you on.
