November 5, 2024

Things I will miss about Capital

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  1. Agonizing over the toilet, wondering whether or not Parkhurst puts laxatives in the food
  2. Accumulating $109,000 in student loans
  3. Racist/homophobic/anti-woman/nihilistic tweets and yaks
  4. Taking PoliSci 380 yesterday and not getting my Nobel Prize today
  5. Fake bells playing hollow songs four minutes too soon
  6. Hearing about those damned stadium lights just so the team can lose in the dark
  7. The “conservatory” that has more adjunct staff and out-of-tune instruments than a Conservatory
  8. The lack of parking and those who drive from Sheridan housing
  9. The weeks-long period between seasons where rooms are either too hot or too cold
  10. A $3 cup of grapes
  11. Idiots rubbing the head of St. Anthony in hopes of finding a brain
  12. Students throwing desserts and food on the walls outside the MDR
  13. Libertarians

Tweet at @TheChimesNews with #misscapital with things you will miss about Capital University.

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