Professor Marvin Saucerman plans for self-sufficient campus
*The following is a work of satire* Yesterday, adjunct history professor Marvin Saucerman held a Yochum press conference to announce his plan to turn Capital …
Category: Satire
Student says ‘Capital is the bomb,’ is misunderstood
*The following is a work of satire* On Sunday, students were awoken by a Capital (Cap) Alert System message that simply read, “CapAlert: Bomb!” Initially many …
Wiltbrunner to chair new women’s studies department
*The following is a work of satire* Following the announcement of Capital’s first female president, a brand-new women’s studies department was introduced to campus Monday. …
Rugby captain talks Division III sports, tribulations
*The following is a work of satire* “A sport isn’t a sport without competition, and DIII athletes are dealt the toughest hand,” said Dick Brognan, …
Student’s unpleasant surprise in food leads to changes in Aramark
*The following is a work of satire* Earlier in March, several complaints were filed by students who found unwanted items in their food from the …
Student stress prompts wellness excursions to OSU campus
*The following is a work of satire* The stressful and hectic nature of Bexley has prompted the Center for Wellness Health (CWH) to direct students …