REVIEW: Lion’s Den is… just fine


Valentine’s Day is basically the sexiest time of the year. It’s the season of fun times in the bedroom, and sometimes you need to spice it up a little bit, or maybe you’re all alone and need a way to pass the time. No matter what your situation is, you may think about heading to Lion’s Den.

Lion’s Den is an adult store that sells everything from DVDs (in case you didn’t know about the internet) to toys to phallic-shaped lollipops. Before I went into the store itself, I made my way over to the website to scope things out and was pleasantly surprised with the site’s layout. It was easy to navigate, and a live chat with customer service popped up almost immediately.

The site features a store locator, a product search bar, an account tab and even a wish list mechanism. Under the tab “shop now,” you can go to toys for couples/her/him, toy cleaner, shop by brand, lingerie – the whole nine yards. Everything was incredibly organized and user friendly.

When I went to the store, however, it wasn’t such a pleasant experience.

Immediately upon walking in the door, I was stopped by a store employee who aggressively checked my ID and sternly warned against taking pictures under any circumstance.

I then proceeded to begin browsing and was followed by the store employee who stopped me at the door. Why he followed only me, I’m not certain, seeing as there were multiple other people in the store. It made it difficult to shop because I was constantly uncomfortable and felt unable to properly experience the store on my own.

As a whole, however, the store seemed pretty underwhelming. It had kind of a sticky vibe, which in hindsight may be because I was the only one under 40 in the building. It was oddly silent (no music, which may not have been normal, but I can’t say for sure).

Lion’s Den was just like any other store in the sense that things were sitting on shelves and garments were hanging on hangers; there was nothing quite out of the ordinary aside from the products themselves, which to be honest, were still not as wild as I had originally imagined.

I finally got bored and proceeded to checkout (still being mildly followed), but I felt bad not buying anything so I bought some penis-shaped lollipops that weren’t even very good (5/10 stars; the banana flavor was awful).

My advice to you is to just order your product online. Save yourself the drive and the awkward experience, and do it all from the comfort of your pajamas. I didn’t purchase anything from the site, but from what I can tell it seems more comfortable and more customer friendly to shop that way. The prices are reasonable (I think), and you can even look at ratings from other customers.

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