June 7, 2020

Not all candies are created equal: Halloween candy reviews

With Halloween a mere week away, households everywhere are stalking up on candy for trick or treat. And, let’s face it, some are better than others (looking at you, candy corn). 

Kit Kats:

Photo courtesy of hershey.com.

Kit Kats are the perfect candy. They have the perfect combination of crunchy, chocolatey, and saltiness to them that can make every taste bud happy. You are able to find Kit Kats at almost any store you go to. Any gas station or grocery store will have either bags of minis, a normal size bar, or a king size. Any is acceptable to eat.

Overall? 9/10

Candy Corn:

Disgusting. Not even worth a rating. No store should legally be allowed to sell Candy Corn.

Wax Bottles:

Photo courtesy of candylandmarket.com

I know that many people may have never had Wax Bottles before, but these were my childhood. Every time my family and I would go to Grandpa’s Cheese Barn (shout out to Ashland!), my dad would buy me a bag of Wax Bottles and we would eat them together once we got home.

Do not get confused and mix up Wax Bottles for Wax Lips though. Wax Lips are at an overall rating of 4/10, meanwhile Wax Bottles are at a solid 7/10 rating. Both do not taste the greatest, except the cherry and blue raspberry flavors, but they are super fun to eat.

Choking hazard- Do not swallow the wax!


Skittles would be an 8/10 rating, but ever since I read the Skittles conspiracy theory, I have been unable to eat them without getting a headache trying to decipher the truth behind the theory.

This conspiracy theory that claims every Skittle is the same flavor, our brains just trick us to taste a certain flavor based off the color of the Skittle.

If you have any information on the truth behind this theory, please get in contact with me. I would like to eat Skittles and give them a proper rating of 8/10 without feeling as if my entire life is a lie.


Photo courtesy of candycrate.com

Cherry and blue raspberry Airheads deserve a rating of 11/10. There is no competition when it comes to these two flavors of Airheads. The perfect combination of taffy and juiciness is something that eight-year-old me loved this time of the year.

The rest of the flavors are a 7/10 rating. They are good, but who would eat a watermelon Airhead first out of their trick or treat bag? Nobody.


M&Ms feel very generic to me. Every color is the same flavor, which makes me wonder why M&Ms would even add a color to the shell of the chocolate in the first place.

When I am in a chocolate mood, these are a 6/10. But, when M&Ms are the only thing left in the Lohman lounge vending machine, the rating goes down to a 5/10.

Anything gummy:

If you want to chew your candy for what feels like all eternity, then gummy candy is for you.

Growing up, I would pretend to like the SpongeBob Krabby Patty Gummies because everyone else in my classes liked them. I would gag the entire time I ate it, or at least attempted to. I always ended up spitting it out into a napkin.

Gummy candy gets a 2/10 rating simply because the designs are sometimes cute and original.

Navigating your way through the different types of candies in your local grocery store can be hard, but with my candy suggestions, I hope you are able to find a cure for your sweet tooth.

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