June 20, 2024

Satire: Journalism has no place in the future

Journalism is on the brink of death.

As we progress more as a society, it’s become more apparent that journalism has no place in it. Thanks to the power of social media, people can form their own truths and deliver it to the masses at the press of a button. 

Let’s be real, who do you trust more? Some random person on Twitter who shares the same beliefs as you, or an actual journalist who writes articles that may conflict with your views. It’s definitely not the latter. 

Journalists walk around as if they’re superheroes, fighting against the darkness of lies and wrongdoings. What could possibly be heroic about writing a news report?

“I can’t believe journalists consider themselves heroes. How? All they do is collect information and type it on their tiny keyboards,” Cletus Gregson, a retired police captain, said.

Gregson raises a good point here. There are no degrees to heroism. Either you’re a valiant knight fighting crime in the brutal streets of America, or you’re just some weak bystander. 

There seems to be a misconception that news can leave a positive impact on people’s lives. What could the public possibly gain from consuming news?

It’s not like journalism helps people make more informed decisions, or improve their overall quality of life. 

Here’s an actual real world example. Since local news companies are dying out, businesses and public officials don’t need to worry about doing what’s lawful because there are no longer pesky reporters holding them accountable. 

In the glorious future of America, proud entrepreneurs can finally focus on making money rather than accounting for the possible sins they made along the way. 

The only way to make money and prosper is to not sell America the truth, but to sell them what they want to hear. True journalists capitalize on this monetary opportunity, while the rest of the idiots spend their time trying to make the world a better place by exposing the wrongs around us. There’s no money in being a hero. 

Americans don’t care about wrongdoings if they don’t fit in with their beliefs. It’s evident that most Americans are ungrateful for the media anyway.

“The media should be abolished. I’m tired of journalism conflicting with my beliefs. In a world without news, we can form our own truths. That’s the key to self-actualization.”

The biggest failure of the media is their inability to instill hope into the public. Good news is the only thing worth reporting. People are depressed enough as it is, why should we deliver tragedies to them on a daily basis

It’s not like bad news can actually lead to something constructive. Better to live in blissful ignorance than enlightened sadness.


  • Robert Cumberlander

    Robert Cumberlander is the Editor-in-Chief of The Chimes and a senior at Capital University, majoring in Film and Media Production with a minor in Entrepreneurship and Journalism.

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