October 22, 2020

7 Worst Plants Alive…or Dead

As a former long-term greenhouse employee, much to my dismay, I’ve had multiple encounters with plants. No, I don’t like them all. Here’s my top 7 most hated plants. 

7. Ferns

Photo credits to Martin Vorel on LibreShot.

Now, I love ferns ridiculously.  However, have you ever tried to keep one alive? Inside? Impossible. They love humidity and being picky. Outside, they are the most beautiful plant. They are perennial and they grow like weeds. 

6. Dragon Wing Begonias

Photo via Wikimedia Commons.

I literally just think they are ugly 90% of the time they come in hanging baskets and they’re so boring. They hate being cold because they hold so much water in their stems – so any brisk breeze on a Spring morning in April could knock them out for good. Get anything else. My goodness, get geraniums in a hanging basket before you get dragon wing begonias. 

5. Daylilies and daffodils

Image by MrGajowy3 from Pixabay.

I think they’re ugly, bland, and I can’t tell the two apart so they’re both sitting comfortably at #5 because I have seen hundreds of these planted everywhere and I still don’t understand why.

4. Impatiens and sun patiens

Impatiens picture by Bishnu Sarangi from Pixabay.

The reason impatiens and sun patiens are on this list is because impatiens hate the sun. If you want impatiens but you have a sunny yard, buy sun patiens. They’re the sun loving Florida cousin to the Midwestern, sun hating flower. They’re both so pretty, but they’re very easily confused with each other because they’re basically identical. Trust me, people will mix them up and then ask for refunds, and maybe I’m speaking from personal experience too much, but I just have a bitter past with these flowers. I hate both of these plants, but only because of the people who buy them. They’re lovely plants. It’s horrible.

3. Japanese Dwarf Maple

This is a tree. It’s way too common, people everywhere want one when they’re in their late thirties to early forties and they think they know stuff about landscaping. These are ugly, to me. They’re fun to look at once, but everyone and their mother has one in their front yard and they’re repetitive. Sure, they’re red, they’re pretty, but why don’t you just get a full sized tree instead of a three to eight foot tall one. 

2. Fiddle leaf fig

Photo by Mokkie on Wikimedia Commons.

A beautiful ficus, a fiddle leaf fig tree is a wonderful plant. I hate them. I had one for three months but then I moved it and the shelf wasn’t exactly level. Therefore, it started dropping leaves even though I changed absolutely nothing about how I was caring for it. These plants are so finicky it genuinely causes me sadness. They want a humidity level of 65. Fiddle leaf figs are on this list because they cause me emotional pain when I am reminded of how mine died tragically because it was too high class for my shabby, not perfectly level shelf.

1. Hostas

These are UGLY, they are way too popular, I hate them. They are so boring. Of all the perennial plants in the world and hostas are the most popular in boring suburban lawns, it’s disgusting. Why not plant coral bells, russian sage, hydrangeas, perennial hibiscus, roses, ivy, lilies (obviously not daylilies, especially when asiatic lilies as so gorgeous), literally anything would look better than stupid, ugly hostas. Hostas are the Chad of the garden world – they’re way too popular for no reason, they think they’re so interesting and neat, and they have no personality. I’m sorry if your name is Chad, but you’re a hosta. Disgusting, makes me frown every time I see one. Yuck. -300/10 for hostas. You have been chopped. You will not make it to the next week of the bachelor. Get out of here, stay out of my lawn.

Please, avoid at all costs. 

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