December 24, 2024

Satire: University adds new signature learning courses

Starting fall of 2020, the university will now require incoming first-years to take three new signature learning courses in addition to the ones they are already taking. Those classes are Criminal Law 101, First Year Seminar 110, and Biology 120.

Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash.

Criminal Law 101 (CRIM-101)- How to Get Away with Murder

In this class, students will take an online simulation that details the process of committing murder, being charged, and then being on trial. 

Instructors really want students to be familiar with this process, while also getting an introduction to criminal law. Holly Jenner, lawyer and soon-to-be instructor of CRIM-101, is excited to take on this class. 

“I’m very excited to be teaching this class in the upcoming fall semester,” Jenner said. “I think it’s really important for all Capital students to take a law course during their time here. Capital has a law school, and if you’re going to make all students take theatre because it’s an ‘art’ school, you should make them take an intro to law class too.

Details on the course materials are still being figured out, but Jenner is sure of one thing.

“I want students to be able to get hands-on experience, so we will be working with one of my clients, a convicted murderer, and helping them with their case,” she said. 

First Year Seminar 110 (FYS-110)- Social Media Influencing

Social Media Influencing will be introduced in the fall semester of 2020. Students will learn how to work a Canon SX530 camera and how to film and edit their footage on it. Students will also learn how to develop content for their social media platforms, and how to use tools to track their following and engagements. 

“I’m going to require my students to make weekly vlogs about their experiences here at Capital,” Suzy Collins, chair of the emerging media department, said. “Social media influencing is a career and there needs to be a curriculum that supports students who are interested in it.”

Collins also said that she and other course instructors plan to have students learn how to manage crises. 

“Sometimes influencers say the wrong things. We want to teach our students how to recover their careers if they mess up. It’s hard for influencers because they’re constantly in the public eye. If they mess up a few times, they shouldn’t immediately be cancelled.”

Biology 120 (BIOL-120)- Communicating with Babies

This course will allow students to develop effective communication with infants and young children. 

Researchers in Capital’s science department have been studying human interactions with babies and adults for the past five years and they are now ready to teach their findings.

 “I’ve been having my students bring in the kids they babysit so we can study their habits and learn what they’re thinking,” Lee Turner, chair of the biology department, said. “In the process, we’ve been able to teach babies a code, so that they can tell us what they want or need.”

Turner said the training that takes place over the course of the semester will help students prepare for life outside of the classroom.

 “Whether you plan to work with children or not, it’s important to know how to talk to them, because they’re humans just like us,” he said.

All students will be allowed to take these courses, though they are required only for first-year, undergraduate students. Information regarding these courses will be available to the public soon. Please check our website for updates.

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