July 4, 2020

Pals before gals: ValenGuy’s Day plans

Valentine’s Day can, at times, seem like some kind of demented tool to make us feel bad as men and women alike. If you say that you’ve always been happy on Valentine’s Day, you’re probably lying. So, if you are like me and are alone this “heart day,” here are some ideas for the homies out there to make that day a bit more eventful. 

Anyone else miss elementary school era valentine cards? Same.

Have a LAN party with the bros

This is a solution tested by time—its nearly fool-proof. This is exactly what it sounds like: let a bunch of the homies know what game to play when and on what system and just go crazy. Call of Duty, Fortnite, who cares, as long as it numbs the pain.

Work on each others Tinders to help acquire the attention of elusive women

This is a good one, I speak from experience. The amount of fun you can have with this would heal the pain caused by your prize pig passing of scoliosis, let alone the possibility that the 14th has not exactly gone as planned. Try to genuinely make their profile better, like a good friend, or use the most unattractive pictures in existence of your numerous friends.

Buy a dog

Everyone loves dogs—including women—and they especially love puppies. Just try to get one from a shelter because they need a good home the most. Seriously though, the odds of anyone approaching you are exponentially improved with an adorable, excited, slobbering animal with you. As an added bonus, they are just amazing conversation starters in general.

Take care of yo’ self

There are a number of things you could do here, buy a new video game or outfit, read a good book, do whatever is fun and/or relaxing to you! Have your eyes on the new Need for Speed for a minute (10/10, highly recommend)? Pick it up. Want a new hoodie? Run to the thrift store or Dick’s and grab a new Nike or Adidas. Interested in the latest edition of something like Quantum Physics Yearly? Head to a book store and make it happen!

Go out with THE BOYZ

It may sound simple, but this is potentially the best option. How do you meet new people? Be social. Where’s a good place to be social? That’s right, bars! It is entirely possible that there is a group of amazing women there in the midst of a Galentine’s Day event and even if there is not, it still is an amazing idea to just go out and have a good time!

Whatever you decide to do to make your day a bit better, I hope this helped give you some ideas to help you realize that the world is not out to get you, or to ignore you completely for that matter. Rise above, turn a negative into a positive, start a trend and celebrate ValenGuys Day group with the boys.

  • Josh Conturo is a reporter for the Chimes and a sophomore studying emerging media with an emphasis on journalism, and loves all things related to cars, coffee, and comedy.

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