University ROTC commissioned as first-ever Space Force
by The President of the United States first announced the idea of establishing the United States Space Force (USSF) back in June of last year. Ideally, …
Category: Satire
Student offended by campus-famous dog’s butt
by More and more of Capital University is becoming aware of the semi-famous “window doggo” that lives on the first floor of Cotterman Hall; however, one …
“The Capital Colosseum Combat” creates opportunity for new mascot
by There are likely no students or faculty who haven’t heard of the conflict over the mascot change. There’s been much debate and little action to …
Cross country learns to toughen up and fight
The upcoming cross country season will undoubtedly be an important one in the history of the program, as radical changes are underway. This season, head …
The Chimes moves to printing on toilet paper due to budget cuts
by Due to budget cuts and a push by the university to be more environmentally friendly, the Chimes will begin printing on toilet paper starting next …
Student Government increases presence on campus
by Student Government announced a series of “integral changes” last week to make them more relevant on campus, according to a statement released today. In case …