Senior soiree coming at end of school year
A red carpet, paparazzi and awards: Student Government is throwing the graduating class of 2022 a senior soiree to celebrate their time at Capital University, …
Category: Campus News
Satire: Capital announces clown nose mandate
Above image by Parken Brown. Capital University will now require students, faculty and staff to wear clown noses on campus after the rise of a …
Satire: Murderous ravens and parrot wreak havoc on campus
Capital Communications released a health advisory two days ago in response to the student tradition of licking the unnamed blue art piece diagonal from Blackmore …
Satire: Students discover meth lab in Renner Hall
Capital University’s Renner Hall was recently under investigation as a potential meth lab. Students started to complain about questionable equipment seen in and around the …
Satire: Capital Athletics to start slap fight team, Will Smith to lead team
The Capital University athletics department has announced the forming of a new sports team on campus, as slap fighting becomes an official university-affiliated sport. Interim …
Satire: China’s Belt and Road Initiative comes to Capital University
In a stunning announcement, Capital University president Dove Coughwoman announced a plan for Capital University to receive funding from China’s Belt and Road Initiative, the …