Satire: The Zig introduces new Capital-themed specialty drink
The university’s favorite dive-bar is releasing a new drink to appeal to Capital University students. If you’re a student at Capital University, which if you’re …
Category: Satire
Satire: Live Public Safety: A&E’s worst-rated show yet!
A&E Network has just announced that season 5 of Live PD, the Emmy winning documentary series, will break from the show’s traditional practice of following …
Satire: ‘The Chimes’ cancels print forever
The Chimes has ceased running print editions until the end of time. Since a “stay-at-home” order has been enforced due to the spreading of COVID-19, …
Satire: Anthony’s Pizzeria defends home turf in first Main St. Food Showdown
You know what they say about March: It tends to involve madness. Although this year there wasn’t an official March Madness bracket for all us …
Satire: Cappy to become new university president
It will soon be the start of a new era for Capital University. In a unanimous vote, the presidential search committee and the board of …
On-campus cults looking for new members for upcoming school year
College is a time for figuring yourself out, making friends, and fitting in with new groups of people. Here on campus, there are plenty of …