Satire: An inside look at the lives of former presidential candidates
Since the 2020 election cycle began, roughly 30 candidates took their shot at running for president. All but three of those candidates have dropped out. …
Category: Featured
Satire: Computer elves feeling overworked in the midst of pandemic, form union
In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, students and employees everywhere have transitioned their daily routines to remote. Classes are being held virtually, office workers …
Satire: Simps take over Lohman halls
UPDATE: Since the initial writing of this story, the situation has changed. The article has been updated with more information since the removal of students …
Satire: University adds new signature learning courses
Starting fall of 2020, the university will now require incoming first-years to take three new signature learning courses in addition to the ones they are …
Satire: Goodbye Crusaders, hello Crickets
The university has decided to throw Cappy the Crusader into the abyss in order to make room for their new mascot, Capster Cricket. Doing away …
Satire: The Zig introduces new Capital-themed specialty drink
The university’s favorite dive-bar is releasing a new drink to appeal to Capital University students. If you’re a student at Capital University, which if you’re …