Satire: University bans heterosexuality
Monday, March 27, at approximately 2:16 p.m., university President Kave Daufman declared that heterosexuality is officially prohibited on campus. The choice was made in response …
Category: Satire
Satire: Collegiate tag team reaches Division I
World Chase Tag (WCT) has integrated parkour and the childhood game of tag into a professional sport. In 2021, WCT averaged 42 million digital viewers …
Satire: Students protest new major requirements
On Friday, March 24, 2023, Capital University sent an email to a portion of the students body stating that there will be new requirements for …
Satire: MDR featured on ‘Kitchen Nightmares’
World-renowned celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has been called in to film an episode of “Kitchen Nightmares” in the university’s Main Dining Room (MDR). Ramsay was …
Satire: Kim Jong Un speaks on spy balloons
Almost everyone who hasn’t been living under a rock has heard about the international Chinese spy balloon incident that took place at the end of …
Satire: University to pay adjuncts in Kohl’s Cash
After a long-awaited change, the university made an announcement on March 28 that will drastically improve the lives of adjuncts. “I really can’t believe it,” …