Satire: Capital announces clown nose mandate
Above image by Parken Brown. Capital University will now require students, faculty and staff to wear clown noses on campus after the rise of a …
Category: Satire
Satire: Murderous ravens and parrot wreak havoc on campus
Capital Communications released a health advisory two days ago in response to the student tradition of licking the unnamed blue art piece diagonal from Blackmore …
Satire: Chevy Celebrity is the best car ever created
Many people think that American cars from the 1980s are less than spectacular, needlessly massive, lazy, slow and badly made. However, is it possible that …
Satire: Water polo team dissolved after first practice
Polo is a historically stuffy, snobbish game for rich d-bags to show who had the fastest horse and the longest stick. Water polo, while it …
Satire: Capital athletics disbanded to fund new drag program
Capital University has finally pulled the trigger on dissolving all athletic teams and programs, completely defunding and disbanding them after years of budget cuts. A …
Satire: Students discover meth lab in Renner Hall
Capital University’s Renner Hall was recently under investigation as a potential meth lab. Students started to complain about questionable equipment seen in and around the …