Satire: Water polo team dissolved after first practice
Polo is a historically stuffy, snobbish game for rich d-bags to show who had the fastest horse and the longest stick. Water polo, while it …
Category: Satire
Satire: Capital athletics disbanded to fund new drag program
Capital University has finally pulled the trigger on dissolving all athletic teams and programs, completely defunding and disbanding them after years of budget cuts. A …
Satire: Students discover meth lab in Renner Hall
Capital University’s Renner Hall was recently under investigation as a potential meth lab. Students started to complain about questionable equipment seen in and around the …
Satire: China’s Belt and Road Initiative comes to Capital University
In a stunning announcement, Capital University president Dove Coughwoman announced a plan for Capital University to receive funding from China’s Belt and Road Initiative, the …
Satire: Infamous Mountain Dew reporter gone missing
At approximately 4:20 a.m. Saturday, missing person reports surfaced to campus police. The missing person in question is infamous Mountain Dew reviewer, Barken Blue. Rumors …
Campus News / News / Satire
Satire: #CapFam Files for Divorce
On Saturday, April 3, an anonymous source with close ties to Capital University submitted documentation showing that our beloved #CapFam has filed for divorce. For …